- I believe that the main points of the “this is water” speech include themes of how important small acts of empathy are, how important it is to remove yourself from the “inherent world’s view” of you being at the center of the world, and that their experiences have taught them how to think for themselves, instead of just think. For the first point in his example in the grocery store and traffic going on about how stupid and iterating everyone in his way is he says as the crowd cheers him on about something “this is an example of how NOT to think, though”(DFW). This illustrates his point about understanding and empathy in small doses during day to day monotony. I think his second point is most focused on during his speech where he addresses the default view of us being the center of the world, emphasizing words like my, and mine. Really best said with this quote “everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence.” (DFW). In this quote he directly states that as a default the world is filtered through a lens of narcissism, in which we are the absolute center of what’s going on. His last major point to me is the teaching you how to choose what to think for yourselves and in this he goes on about he supposed to be using different clichés for his speech and goes on to show how he would subvert them shown with this quote “the really significant education in thinking that we’re supposed to get in a place like this isn’t really about the capacity to think, but rather about the choice of what to think about.”
- I can agree with two of the points he made, those being the first and third ones I talked about, I just personally can’t get behind the second one that I mentioned. Due to my own personal experiences I have felt unimportant in my own story at times, and using my brain to think of the big picture as sometimes I can feel inconsequential and so I can’t fully agree with his last point.
- I personally believe that he was referring to empathy on a small scale, especially in reference to the parts about the grocery store and traffic parts of speech.
“Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute centre of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence.” I have already written about this, but as I have described before, I strongly disagree with this quote and that’s probably why it sticks out to me so much. It sounds really sad to talk about but it’s really okay. It’s just there are times where I don’t feel like the world revolves around me, and so I would personally argue that this isn’t a default setting of humans as a whole but more a personal bias of the speaker. I can recognize when more important things are happening and when things that don;t really have anything to do with me have major significance so i feel like the quote above is just plan wrong in that respect.
Phelps- Roper only came about due to a connection formed between them through Abietol’s kinder approach to Phelps, Now some people may argue that the internet is more of a negative force in the world do to how the Westboro Baptist church abuses the medium, but they are wrong because Social media also has the ability to bring people together and change minds like it did with Phelps showing that it’s not purely good or bad.
Konnikova’s essay “the limits of friendship” mainly focuses on the Dunbar number, the importance of in person interactions, and the unknown of the future since we haven’t seen a generation that has fully grown up with internet access. The most interesting of the points to me being, the unknown of how the internet will affect social interaction long term, in the essay it is left more open and vague on what they think will happen, I personally think it’ll be more positive as we can make connections across countries and keep in touch with friends that move away, and overall just have a positive effect on social interactions going forward.
- What was your final thesis statement? Paste, then analyze its strengths & weaknesses
Although social media is not a perfect medium, I believe it has had a positive impact on social interaction as a whole.
I feel like a strength and a weakness of my statement is that it doesn’t really really pick a side by a whole lot. It does state that I believe it has had a positive impact, but it also says it has a bit of negativity to it, and I feel like that was kind of the point. I wanted my essay to look at the good and the bad while mainly focusing on the validity of online relationships. But it also could be a bit confusing to a reader to see that I don’t have an immediate hard stance on the topic. So in the future I will work on getting my point across more clearly.
- In a separate paragraph, describe what you learned or were reminded of about your own writing process, from completing Paper #1.
I was certainly reminded of just how passionate I can get with certain topics especially when it comes to online, or just anything that I care about. I have a trend of making it very personal. I was also reminded of my tendency to lay out a general skeleton of a piece and then go back to certain parts and workshop them for hours until I’m happy.
3) In another paragraph: Which aspect of revision did you focus on most during your revisions? What changes or adjustments made your essay stronger? Be specific.
The two main parts of my essay I constantly revised were my introductory paragraph and my points against the limits of friendship. Firstly in my introduction it was advised that I should move my thesis to the end of it and come up with a hook, so I spent a lot of time trying to come up with something that felt right, and that I thought worked well enough with the suggestions I had been given. Secondly I spent a lot of time with the bond touch bracelets part of my essay because as I see it, that is the most important part of the whole writing because it hard counters statements made by Dunbar in “the limits of friendship”. And it really mattered to me so I wanted to make sure it was as perfect as I could fesabible to get it so my point would come across clear and i’m hoping that it did.
4) In another paragraph: How might you approach Paper #2 differently, from pre-reading and annotating, all the way through completion of your final draft?
If i’m completely, honest i don’t know what i’ll try and change with writing essay 2.
My Peer review experience was very mixed. If I’m being honest, I am not very good at being critical of someone’s work. It was especially tough because we had opposing views on the subject which I did expect, but it still was difficult separating what may have been an actual critique of their work or just a comment because I didn’t agree with them that was helpful at all.
I did find the other part of the peer review very helpful though, my essay was very rushed and there were many mistakes that I may not have caught without this peer review. And I am thankful for all of the feedback that they gave me.
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