Outcome 2 (Integrating Ideas)

Looking back on my first essay I would definitely say I put a lot more emphasis on the “I say” part of the “ they say, I say” formula than the’ “they say” part. In my first essay I got very excited about a point i made regarding touch bond bracelets and how i believed it completely dismantled the arguments presented in the articles we had read, and it was this excitement that lead it to be the focal point of my essay and it ended up consuming the majority of what i talked about because i got so excited about it. But the problem with that is it ended up consuming a lot of the essay and although I don’t think I would consider changing the point if I were to go back to the first essay I Would certainly try to add more to the “they say” portion to more even it out in the end. Looking at my other two essays I believe that my second essay hada better balance then the first but my third was once again mostly my input with not as much from the reading as there could have been at least in my opinion. I think that I am definitely still working on finding the best balance between the two voices for a personal essay but I am getting there and it won’t be long before i feel like i’ll be able to get it consistently. 

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